Angry Little Tank

Rants, chants and cants....all written while wearing no pants!

Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Don't put them Depends on girl, he ain't worth it!

In what can only be described as a sad interweaving of Cops, CSPAN, and The Golden Girls, we learned today of an astronaut who drove almost a thousand miles overnight to stalk her boyfriend (who is ALSO an astroanut) and his new girlfriend.

Apparently this woman packed a bunch of trash bags, a knife and a lot of rubber tubing (huh?) in her station wagon and headed out from Houston to Cape Canaveral because she "wanted to talk".

The best part?

Police allege Nowak drove 950 miles (1,529 km) from Houston to Orlando -- wearing adult diapers so she would not have to stop to urinate -- and disguised herself in a dark wig, glasses and trench coat to confront her rival, Colleen Shipman, who according to media reports is a captain in the U.S. Air Force.

Now I'll admit, this guy is kind of hot. I can see myself driving a few hours to do some stalking for him, sure. I gotta draw the line at being so urgent at getting my stalkin on that I plan ahead on pissing in my pants. Repeatedly.

I mean I'm sure the urination situation in space prepares you for some, let's say uncomfortable situations, but how long does it take to stop in at a Wendy's and urinate before you go chop your ex's new girlfriend into a million bits?

I guess the good news is that after spending two weeks in a space capsule she'll be uniquely qualified to deal with the frequent delousings and bouts in solitary confinement she'll be participating in for...let's say....5-10.


Blogger Casey said...

You'd stalk him? Really? Hm...

8:30 PM  
Blogger Angry Little Tank said...

SIGH...I'm trying to empathize with the crazy woman in order to deliver the punchline...try and play along.

6:48 AM  

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