Angry Little Tank

Rants, chants and cants....all written while wearing no pants!

Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My Neighbors Suck

There's no secret we've been having a lot of trouble with our neighbors. Two odious lesbians moved in about 2 years ago on the next street over and immediately decided they were going to cut down the 90 foot trees behind their property on our street, lay down ugly brown gravel, and put up a chain link fence. Now they ram their Jetta into the small space. You guys uglied that up real good, thanks again.

Then there are the residents on 22nd street. They've decided that its too much hassle to keep their trash in their back area and then place it in the front of their property like normal people. No, its much easier to just place their trash in front of OUR property. The earlier on Sunday the better too, let's say around noon. Since out of sight IS truly out of mind, there clearly is no need to move the empty cans back to their property after the trash has been picked up on Monday. No, clearly its much easier to just leave them strewn across our street or in front of our property.

Well lately I've been losing it. If I come home from work on Tuesday I've been tossing the empty receptacles over the fence and into their yard. People with even a modicum of sense and conscience would take the hint and at the very least make sure their empty cans are back on their property.

Not these guys.

So anyway, Tuesday night I come home to empty cans in front of our house and just lost it. I tossed the empty cans back over the fence. Suddenly a 300 pound woman comes storming out of the house enraged. It was basically on at that point. Obscenities were traded back and forth, to put it mildly. Around the time I was telling her that her "fat ass" needed to stop putting her trash on our street she decided to pick up the trash can lid and brandish it.

Yes ladies and gentlemen I then found myself under the completely ridiculous situation of being hit with a plastic trash can lid in front of my house by a rather obese red faced woman.

I never thought I would experience the level of rage I felt at that moment. A crystalline pure rivulet of hate ran up the back of my spine and settled in the reptilian area of my brain. The little slugger must have realized what she was doing at that point because she kind of just dropped the lid, muttered "faggot" and then went back to her property. She turned around again, I looked her straight in the eye and said "bitch, get your fat ass into that fucking apartment before I call the cops and have your dumb ass arrested for assault". She took the hint.

Not my proudest moment. The sad thing is, I'm sure she's just going to keep doing it. Next step? Send a letter to her landlord (yeah she's a renter, a bonus to the entire situation) and copy the streets department. Thom's idea was to involve our block captain, but we'll see the rapture before we see any action come out of that.

To be continued


Anonymous Mooney said...

Dude, you're going about this all wrong. There are 2 ways to go about handling this. First, you could cut the bottoms out of her trashcans rendering them useless, or fill them back up before heaving them over her fence. There are plenty of other ways as well. We'll discuss them later.

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just put YOUR trashcans in front of HER property. That or slash her tires.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Q said...

I've got some ideas.....

11:07 AM  

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