Angry Little Tank

Rants, chants and cants....all written while wearing no pants!

Name:
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Damn you vile woman!!!!

Just finished taking down our very dilapidated kitchen cabinets and generating general mayhem in the kitchen. I remember when we first bought this house three years ago we were told that we were getting a former section 8 housing unit. Of course I had no idea what the ramifacations of this might be, I was just interested in an affordable space in center city.

Then we started finding things. Vile things. Awful things. Crack burns on the plastic sink. A stove hood that looked as though it had been through a grease fire. Nastiness.

And what did we find today? Nothing less than a full blown insect Auschwitz. Thousands upon thousands of dead cockroach shells embedded behind all of the wall cabinets. Did you know cockroaches actually shit? Neither did I, but once the cabinets came down the blackened walls gave testiment to the evacuatory capabilities of our insect brethren.

This post is for you former resident Sadie and your six wild ass kids. You suck. Windex is like $2 bitch, what's the problem. Even poor folks can clean their crib when its dirty. You let this go and then skipped out. You allowed your former landlord to call an exterminator to eradicate your fifth circle of hell. Then the bodies piled up and now we're dealing with it. You are a vile nasty repugnant woman. You are most definitely NOT invited to the fabulous party we're throwing when we've installed our new kitchen.

Sadie, you are dead to me.

19 Comments:

Anonymous Hooker Dave W said...

So when is cabinet assembly day?
I have my power screwdriver all tuned up.
-HD

9:44 AM  
Anonymous J. Cruz said...

OH MY GOD. Why do I see the Wharthogs when I think of the faces on all those poor "Concentration Camp Roach Victims"?

11:00 AM  
Blogger Angry Little Tank said...

Cabinet assembly day is pretty much everyday between now and next Sat.

Any help you want to lend would be most appreciated Dave.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

Eeee-wwww. Blattidac Feces. GU-ROH-SUH!

12:56 PM  
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